Saturday, July 5, 2008

Clearing the clutter, making the space...

This post is inspired by 2 things:
1. A certain process I am going through now (I am deliberately not specifying now).
2. a great post entitled: "Space...The final frontier?" by Richard Derwent Cooke, a great writer, coach and a friend of mine on Ecademy.

I went through something that was less than pleasant yesterday (emotionally) but it had to be done and experienced and I am glad I heard some things. Later in the afternoon I came across Richard's post on Ecademy. I almost started crying (I'm known for having "loose taps in my eyes" lol). The line that struck me most was: I would urge you to be ruthless in creating a little space, be it mental, temporal or physical, in your life and let yourself breathe a little and gain a fresh perspective on what is important.

That is exactly where I stand now - at the point where I have to be ruthless and make my space, or rather - reclaim it. But it is not just the space that needs to be reclaimed. Sure enough, there is emotional clutter in my life (and physical clutter in my house - you know how these two always go together) but even if I de-clutter my life and reclaim my space, it will be an empty one. What I really need to do in addition to de-cluttering is to "hunt myself' and reclaim all the little bits and pieces of energy I had left behind in other places and people. Reclaim my power.

It is easier said than done. The part where one has to be "ruthless" is the hard part. Ruthless is NOT cruel. You can be a good hearted person, a helping and loving person and still be ruthless. In many ways this is the only way to survive, and the only way to really give to others and help them. Only by being ruthless can you really teach others lessons they need so much to learn.

I am asked sometimes - how come you can help so many people, coach them, guide them, mentor them, counsel them....and yet you yourself have problems, you're suffering.... well folks, that next part might sound like a sales promotion but that is exactly why you need help. That is exactly why you need a coach, or a therapist, or a good clever friend, or a wise mother, or a grandmother or someone like Richard that writes just the right thing in the right time.... because we tend to tell ourselves stories, we all tend to choose the easy ways out of efforts and responsibilities... we need someone to show us where we go wrong and light up the path ahead so that we can select our next move wisely and from a place of knowledge.

So I wish to thank Richard in this post for lighting up my path and helping me make the decision that needed to be made, as painful as it may be for me right now. Because if I do not put myself back in the first place in my priorities, if I do not reclaim my space and my power.... I will not be able to survive. I will be so drained and so worn out that I will simply disappear.

If you feel that any of these words strikes a chord with you, I suggest you do the same and think about how you can reclaim your space right now.