Clearing the clutter, making the space...

This post is inspired by 2 things:
1. A certain process I am going through now (I am deliberately not specifying now).
2. a great post entitled: "Space...The final frontier?" by Richard Derwent Cooke, a great writer, coach and a friend of mine on Ecademy.

I went through something that was less than pleasant yesterday (emotionally) but it had to be done and experienced and I am glad I heard some things. Later in the afternoon I came across Richard's post on Ecademy. I almost started crying (I'm known for having "loose taps in my eyes" lol). The line that struck me most was: I would urge you to be ruthless in creating a little space, be it mental, temporal or physical, in your life and let yourself breathe a little and gain a fresh perspective on what is important.

That is exactly where I stand now - at the point where I have to be ruthless and make my space, or rather - reclaim it. But it is not just the space that needs to be reclaimed. Sure enough, there is emotional clutter in my life (and physical clutter in my house - you know how these two always go together) but even if I de-clutter my life and reclaim my space, it will be an empty one. What I really need to do in addition to de-cluttering is to "hunt myself' and reclaim all the little bits and pieces of energy I had left behind in other places and people. Reclaim my power.

It is easier said than done. The part where one has to be "ruthless" is the hard part. Ruthless is NOT cruel. You can be a good hearted person, a helping and loving person and still be ruthless. In many ways this is the only way to survive, and the only way to really give to others and help them. Only by being ruthless can you really teach others lessons they need so much to learn.

I am asked sometimes - how come you can help so many people, coach them, guide them, mentor them, counsel them....and yet you yourself have problems, you're suffering.... well folks, that next part might sound like a sales promotion but that is exactly why you need help. That is exactly why you need a coach, or a therapist, or a good clever friend, or a wise mother, or a grandmother or someone like Richard that writes just the right thing in the right time.... because we tend to tell ourselves stories, we all tend to choose the easy ways out of efforts and responsibilities... we need someone to show us where we go wrong and light up the path ahead so that we can select our next move wisely and from a place of knowledge.

So I wish to thank Richard in this post for lighting up my path and helping me make the decision that needed to be made, as painful as it may be for me right now. Because if I do not put myself back in the first place in my priorities, if I do not reclaim my space and my power.... I will not be able to survive. I will be so drained and so worn out that I will simply disappear.

If you feel that any of these words strikes a chord with you, I suggest you do the same and think about how you can reclaim your space right now.

Feelings, chapter 3 - Partnertship

Partnership is not a feeling - it's a word.... a noun.... but it involves and generates a large array of feelings.

Ask yourself this: what does "partnership" really mean to you?

To me the first thing that pops up is the word "Part". A partner takes part in something with me. There are silent partners and non silent partners, there are business partners and life partners and so on but, what characterizes all of them is that that they are all part of something with someone else.

However, there is a huge difference between being part of something and taking part in something.

For me a true partner is one who takes an active part in what we are supposed to be doing together. I realized, throughout my life, that most people don't pay much attention to this difference. Many people believe that you can also be an inactive partner, perhaps contributing a minor effort (if any) to a project, putting your name on it and voila! you are a "partner". This is why, even as a child at school I always avoided doing projects in a "team". I always ended up being the one that does the work while the others got the grades...

This difference of "being" a part and "taking" part is the difference between a helper and an annex, between active and passive, it is what makes a team really work well together and a project really succeed.

I believe it is important to comprehend and remember it because whether the project is finishing a task at work or family life with your spouse this is exactly what will make it succeed or fail in the long run - are you taking part in your own life? Are you fully and actively participating in your own life?

Next time you feel frustrated, unhappy, scared... try to think of the situation you are in and see if you are taking an active part in it, or perhaps there are other people involved who are not pitching in, not taking an active part....

To be continuted...

Cat memories and loving

Many people think cats do not "show love as dogs" or that they are "not loyal"
They also think cats (or animals at all for that matter) do not have a good memory or at least "memory" in the sense we, humans, refer to it....

take a look at this and then... go to the nearest shelter and adopt a kitty :)